In this post, I want to talk about Israeli national ceremonies and their effect on the Tourette during these ceremonies.
There is a connection between my mental situation and the severity level of the Tourette. Also, it affects my ability to control the tics. I have found that when I am in a bad mental state, the worse the Tourette is and my ability to control the tics is less: especially during all the memorial ceremonies and funerals. I find that my tics are getting worse and even though I try my best to control them a lot of time I don't succeed. I am too weak mentally, and the Tourette takes advantage of my vulnerability to raise its head, and I don't have enough mental powers to control and to deal with Tourette, and it overcomes me.
I try, before I go to ceremonies and funerals, to listen to Pink Floyd or Eric Clapton which help me relax. I try to gather my strength and to think positive thoughts in order not to get to this place where I am too weak. To be honest, I try, but a lot of times I don't succeed, and my powers are drained from me quickly, and I become too weak to deal with the Tourette. Especially when I go to the memorial ceremony on Israel Memorial Day and all my feelings and my thoughts about a friend that fell, arise. I hate that I can't control my Touarette when I am too weak, and the Tourette takes advantage of this, raising its head.
During ordinary days, I am mentally strong enough and have the mental powers to control the Tourette and keep it from showing up. I find the inner strength again and I use it to control the Tourette. But it's not the case when I am in the bad mental state because of Memorial Day ceremonies or other sad events. I can honestly say, that even though I try, I have my victories, but a lot of times I lose because I am not strong enough and when it happens, I get frustrated.
I try to work on myself to get better in handling myself during memorial ceremonies and funerals. I try to get myself to be in a better mental state where I will be able to gather my strength to handle this kind of situation. I try to do guided imagery and some other techniques to improve my ability to control the Tourette during these types of events so that I will be able to keep the Tourette checked and not let it show. I want to be a strong man mentally so that I won't have these meltdowns.
I want to believe that I am a mentally strong man who has the strength to control the Tourette. Also, I want to believe that I am considered to be a man with strong mental powers who can overcome every obstacle that life throws at me. I want to believe that this is how society sees me and this is how I am portrayed in my friends’ and my family’s eyes. I want to continue to develop and maybe one day have the mental powers to overcome the Tourette and to be able to control it in every situation. I know that to get there I still need to work on myself, and the road to this goal is still long, and I need to try to stay on the path no matter what obstacles life throws at me. Hopefully, I will get there someday, and I hope that day will be soon.
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