In this post, I would like to talk about giving lectures about my Tourette's experience.
About five years ago, I was invited to give my first lecture at a youth center as part of "Extraordinary February". I was asked to tell my life story. When it was offered to me, I had concerns, and it took me about a week of debating before I agreed to do it. It scared me and even caused me paralysis and significant stress. I knew that the meaning of such a position was a complete exposure of myself in front of people I know and also strangers. After much deliberation, I came to a decision. I told myself that this was another step in the mission I had taken on in the fight to raise awareness of Tourette syndrome.
The first lecture could have been more professional. It was a spontaneous lecture with almost no prior preparation. After this lecture, I sat down with Lior Zaloff, then director of a youth center, and we began upgrading the lecture. This process required a lot of mental strength to deal with everything that came up during my introspection to deal with Tourette's.
The process included watching TED TALK videos and working with myself. We had work meetings where we reviewed materials I had written, and after each meeting, I had homework. I looked deeply into myself to bring out materials and feelings buried in me. It was the beginning of a journey of self-discovery and exposure to all the wounds and scratches that exist in me following my dealings with the syndrome. After about a year of hard work, we consolidated the lecture into what it is today.
I have been giving this lecture for about four years throughout the Ramat Negev Regional Council: in schools, to the council's youth and in the settings of years of service and prep schools. About two years ago, I lectured a group of students at Ben Gurion University in Be'er Sheva. Although I have been lecturing for two years, and the lecture is written and given with a presentation, after each lecture, I continue to add a little more and adapt it to the next target audience.
My path in the world of lectures is just at the beginning. The journey and process still need to be completed, and I still have much to learn. Although most of the lectures go well, I still get excited every time, sometimes so much that I have to stop for a few seconds to compose myself and continue. The lectures bring up emotions in me with strengths that I haven't felt for many years, and I have to learn to live with them again.
Despite the pain and difficulty of the exposure, I also feel a sense of healing and a huge sense of satisfaction from sharing and raising awareness. This gives me the strength to continue the journey.
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